Dating a man that is going through a divorce
You had too much going on during your divorce to possibly consider dating. This same script, I’m reminded, played out in the life of one of my favorite clients who fell in love with a separated man.
Therefore, you seem to think all men should feel the same way. But you are correct in proceeding with a sense of caution. Not because he listed himself as divorced but is really separated. He gave a lot to her during their time together, but, when it got right down to it, he really needed to sow his oats for awhile.
With the "slow it down warning" emblazoned on the relationship, let's look at the possible pitfalls your man presents.
The first question that must be answered is: Why is he getting a divorce and what is the timeline?
He also couldn’t sign up for marriage so soon after his wife had betrayed him and he spent years in litigation. When one had a happy marriage, they tend to want to be married again.
To this day, he thanks me for helping him start his life over. It isn’t about replacing someone, but adding someone into your life to create a new chapter with. P., try not to compare the new person in your life to the old one.
I spent many years being a transition person to a man I loved very much who was going through a divorce. The distraction of the legal issues, if going through a divorce, may linger on for longer than anyone would expect. In order to enjoy your time in your new relationship, it’s important to communicate these issues when you first start dating. Maybe Is every transition person only there for the time being?
He said I was “the one.” He said he never felt this way about a woman before. Once you know you have met someone you would seriously like to be involved with, express your concerns if you think this scenario might apply to you. Is it possible to be the transition person and actually be lucky enough to meet someone quickly after a death or divorce of your loved one?
The guy who broke my heart couldn’t imagine life without me. I know of many happily married couples that met shortly after one’s spouse had passed away.Dating a guy who is going through a divorce can be a different type of relationship that not all women are equipped to deal with.Although the best advice is to take it as slow as possible, things often speed up without us realizing it, as love can be the natural state of things and seem so easy when it appears.Any stalling, or worse, attempts at reconciliation are red lights for you to put a stop to seeing him until he is officially, legally single. If so, that tells you that he is willing to work on disagreements as well as letting you know that the divorce was not a rash decision.If he cannot or will not follow through on this, what kind of follow through will he have in regards to his commitment to you? Does he acknowledge his role in the marriage falling apart? If he says phrases like, "I'm not perfect" or "I really tried," take these as cues that his relationship with you will also feature him making an effort when needed.
Any advice would be wonderful- thanks in advance for your response!